For the entirety of the past week I have felt like... crap. I haven't been abe to sleep well. Something startles me awake on a regular basis now days it seems and when I wake up I'm unable to go back to sleep because my neck and/or my shoulder hurt. I've been seeing a chiropractor but it's a very slow progression toward healing. During the day I've been unbelievably tired (and a bit lazy - especially with the housework) and have not been taking care of myself or my family's dietary needs. And when I don't eat properly I of course feel more... crappy. I haven't eaten a lot of junk really, I just haven't taken in enough calories and I've eaten pretty late several times this week. It's been sort of a vicious cycle that I plan to abort this weekend. I WILL take this problem head on come Sunday evening becase I. AM. A. WINNER! Right? Right. Anyway, in spite of the obvious challenges this week I've still managed to run consistently, although I know I could have done better if I had felt better and taken better care of myself. My total for this week was 9.7 miles. Part of what has kept me going has been running with my best friend, Jennifer. We help to keep one another accountable, motivated and competitive. Because we live about 15 minutes apart (with not much but empty roads and uneven highway between us) running together in my territory or hers has been a welcome change of pace and scenery. Yesterday evening was by far my best run of the week. The first mile was not as bad as it normally is, probably because we'd just had a storm and the temperature at 7:00 pm was only around 80 degrees so the humidity was a bit kinder to us as a result. The second mile was slightly harder because of the lengthy inclines and buckling pavement in one of the neglected streets we ran. But when we rounded the corner of the main highway that leads back to my house I felt rejuvenated and ready for more. As we made our way past the tiny community college on our left I began to see the end in sight. For the last .3 of a mile I picked up my pace and held it steadily all the way to the lamp post in my driveway. I felt amazing! It was just the boost I needed to cast off this miserable week. If there had been a banner to break I would have broken it and dubbed myself THE WINNER! I wanted a trophy, a ribbon, applause, a parade! Instead, my son brought us two big cups of water because Jennifer and I were unable to move out of my driveway for a bit. We managed to cool down and stretch, which is my favorite part, and I spent the rest of my evening basking in the tiny glory of knowing I was ready to do more.

At first I thought that running was about the small, measurable victories. I thought I could measure success in distance or time but last night was different. I didn't run the fartheset I'd ever ran or even make the best time I could possibly make. What made it special was that my body let me know I was again, ready for more. If I continued to work hard my body would reward me. Victory isn't in how far you run or how long it takes you to get there, it's in you. And it's those moments that make me want to take a week like the one I've had and leave it in the dust. I want to shake off the grime that a lack of sleep and poor diet covers me in and move forward. Finding and keeping motivation is WINNING! And if you can find a giant, cheesey, motivational poster to pin on your wall, well that is fabulous!

I Began...

I've never, I repeat never, run more than two miles in my life and the last time I can recall doing that was when I was in the seventh grade and I'm still not certain if I actually ran the full two miles or not. I've always enjoyed exercise though I've not been fanatical about it. I usually muster up some motivation to exercise consistently in the Spring and it subsides by the time the dog days of summer steam roll into southern Georgia. For some reason however, this year has been a little different. Like many people I lost my job in 2009 (not that it was all that fantastic to begin with). I've been taking care of my home, my husband, my children, the plants and my animals ever since. My husband's career provides for our family solidly and so for that we are always very grateful. A couple of months ago a friend on Facebook asked for volunteers who might consider running a marathon with her in January 2011. Under normal circumstances my reaction would have been, "...she's insane and no way in hell". But on that particular day the Earth tilted, or spun an extra spin or perhaps it stopped cold. Whatever it did propelled me to volunteer before I had a chance to talk myself out of it, or really even give it serious thought for that matter. My husband, children (ages 12 and 9) and myself had been walking for an hour in the evenings for approximately a month at that time and I was feeling a bit more motivated than usual. When I started running I would jog for a bit and then walk back to my family on the sidewalk, walk with them a bit more and then repeat that process several times. I couldn't run any significant distance and so it was of no great consequence to my body... yet. After a couple of weeks my knees and ankles hurt so badly that I would have to rest for three to four days at a time before I could run again. By that point I was running half mile increments and was beginning to believe I'd be in excruciating pain for the duration of my running experience. I had searched the net many times over looking for someone with similar experiences and could find nothing. Finally the injury I sustained in my left knee kept me bed ridden for more than a day and off the sidewalk for over a week. I had sunk into a mental hole of desperation and self pity and believed I was simply "not meant to be a runner". And then one morning I happened to catch an episode of Real Sports on HBO (a show that I never watch - EVER) and saw that the feature that day was on 'barefoot running'. The guest, author of Born to Run, Christopher McDougall brought up an interesting point. He stated that there has never been any scientific research to suggest that the expensive running shoes we've been trained to buy for the last forty years, have ever done anything to prevent injury to runners. His suggestion was that the human foot, complex and expertly designed was built to land in a way that would cushion our bodies and especially our joints so that we did not naturally succumb to injury. I was so intrigued by this blessed show that I knew I must try it for myself, this running barefoot; However I don't walk around my house barefoot so I knew that attempting to run on naked feet was not really an option for me. So I plundered through my closet and came across a pair of cheap Sand & Sun water wading shoes I'd purchased at Wal Mart two years ago. They have flimsy pliable soles and provided just enough protection for the soles of my feet that I knew they'd be just the ticket. That evening I fastened the velcro on my otherwise meaningless water shoes and ran one mile. It was a different experience for sure. But the real test came the next morning when I awoke and placed my feet on the floor. Since I began this journey I had never, up to that point, been able to walk without pain and extreme stiffness upon waking in the morning. But the morning after my water wading shoe run I placed my feet on the floor and moved around effortlessly. I felt no pain! And I haven't looked back at my Asics since. I still experience sore, achy muscles and a little tenderness in my ankles but nothing other than discomfort. There is no intense, bone shocking, joint grinding pain associated with my runs any longer. I'm now running an average of 4 days a week and about 8-10 miles per week. I still have much to learn and many struggles ahead of me but not a day goes by that I'm not unbelievably grateful I saw that episode of Real Sports. I found a key to a small success. And so far that's what this journey has been about, finding the little things, small keys that unlock the seemingly small doors that lead to the small successes.